MURRAY CHRISTMAS
What??? It’s almost 2007? How did that happen? It’s like watching TV when everyone in the room has a remote. Poof – two hours lost watching a couple seconds of several thousand different shows, not to mention the milliseconds spent on all the commercials. A lot of ground covered, but not much remembered. But let’s try to piece the year together anyway.
It all started with Robin fooling her company into thinking she was working from home when, in fact, she was walking the dog. (This is of course an exaggeration; they only went for one walk a day. The rest of the time Robin surfed the internet.) Taking advantage of Robin’s good mood, Dave and Dan (14) convinced her that finishing the basement was more important than either of the kid’s college educations. However, we did try our best to shave costs where possible. (Community college still costs something.) We found Overstock.com had terrific discounts on furnishings. Unfortunately the table we purchased had a big chunk taken out of it and the front legs on the bar stools we ordered were shorter than the back. (Note that this has not been a total disaster; our thighs are firmer than a Tour De France cyclist’s, and without the use of illicit drugs.) It may have taken forty years, but Hermey, Rudolf and Yukon Cornelius have found a solution for the Charlie-in-the-Box, the Cowboy-that-rides-an-ostrich, the pistol-that-shoots-jelly and the doll-that-we-can’t-quite-figure-out-why-she’s-a-misfit: the internet. And it works for more than the toy business, with Overstock.com handling the denizens from the Island of Misfit Furniture. (We should have figured something was up when the sales contact at the call center said he was only doing this job to make enough money to go to dental school and his friend in shipping would take care of delivery even if the fog rolled in. Note, however, we are testing Mr. Cornelius’s pick axe to see if it fits the chunk.)
Our choices haven’t all been slothful. We have outfitted the basement with a treadmill and stationary bicycle. We were the recipients of a particularly favorable set of circumstances when the salesperson forgot to take off her heart monitor when we started negotiating price. We found that if we kept her near a machine that was in use, her heart rate would register on the display. Poor Carolyn (11) unfortunately, had the role of keeping the machine engaged in order that a measurement could be taken. (Some friendly advice, you‘ll get your best deal when the heart rate is up 20 points; after that, they just get mean.) So we got a good deal and Carolyn lost 5 pounds. Berns (the dog) is not too happy about the treadmill. He stands next to Robin while she works out and can’t figure out why he doesn’t have to move his legs to keep up. That said, he is happy to be walking at all after pulling every muscle in his back earlier in the year getting his teeth cleaned. Dave once had a friend in college blow out his knee getting up from his seat after taking an Economics exam; but pulling a back muscle getting your teeth cleaned has to move to the top of the “you-hurt-yourself-doing-what?” injuries. (Part of his treatment involved steroids, so Berns won’t be playing baseball this year, but is moving up the ranks of the doggie bodybuilding circuit and has no problem logging long hours sitting on our new bar stools. As Robin, who has taken to spoonerism recently, would say, “Stick that in your pope and smike it.”)
This year each of the kids “graduated”, Carolyn from elementary school and Dan from junior high. Dan’s new high school has an enrollment of 3000-4000 students and the building blue prints were apparently switched at construction with the design for a psychology experiment rat maze. After passing the band section MVP plaques for the third time trying to find his way out from parent’s orientation, Dave pledged never to enter the school again. Here’s hoping, several years from now, graduation day is sunny enough for an outdoor ceremony.
By far our biggest news relates to reality TV. Christopher Knight, the guy who played Peter Brady on the Brady Bunch, married Adrianne Curry, from nearby Joliet and winner of the first season of the reality show, America’s Next Top Model. They met on the reality show, The Surreal Life, and started dating. Their life together was then chronicled on My Fair Brady, another reality show. They got married in May, in Joliet. Our big news is that the wedding was broadcast on their show and we had the privilege of being married by the same Reverend that officiated their wedding. Okay, so we haven’t had our 15 minutes of fame yet; but we know someone who has used up a couple minutes of theirs. (Just thinking out loud here, but given there were only three or four TV stations when Andy Warhol made his “15 minutes” observation and now there are hundreds of stations, does this imply that we all get about 1 day of fame now, or are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton taking up all this additional fame space?)
All told, while it has not been an eventful year in our house, it has been an enjoyable one. Hope the same is true for you and your family. And as we head into 2007, let us all (to steal another of Robin’s spoonerisms) be needful of the minds of others.
Mele Kalikimaka
Dave, Robin, Dan & Cary
What??? It’s almost 2007? How did that happen? It’s like watching TV when everyone in the room has a remote. Poof – two hours lost watching a couple seconds of several thousand different shows, not to mention the milliseconds spent on all the commercials. A lot of ground covered, but not much remembered. But let’s try to piece the year together anyway.
It all started with Robin fooling her company into thinking she was working from home when, in fact, she was walking the dog. (This is of course an exaggeration; they only went for one walk a day. The rest of the time Robin surfed the internet.) Taking advantage of Robin’s good mood, Dave and Dan (14) convinced her that finishing the basement was more important than either of the kid’s college educations. However, we did try our best to shave costs where possible. (Community college still costs something.) We found Overstock.com had terrific discounts on furnishings. Unfortunately the table we purchased had a big chunk taken out of it and the front legs on the bar stools we ordered were shorter than the back. (Note that this has not been a total disaster; our thighs are firmer than a Tour De France cyclist’s, and without the use of illicit drugs.) It may have taken forty years, but Hermey, Rudolf and Yukon Cornelius have found a solution for the Charlie-in-the-Box, the Cowboy-that-rides-an-ostrich, the pistol-that-shoots-jelly and the doll-that-we-can’t-quite-figure-out-why-she’s-a-misfit: the internet. And it works for more than the toy business, with Overstock.com handling the denizens from the Island of Misfit Furniture. (We should have figured something was up when the sales contact at the call center said he was only doing this job to make enough money to go to dental school and his friend in shipping would take care of delivery even if the fog rolled in. Note, however, we are testing Mr. Cornelius’s pick axe to see if it fits the chunk.)
Our choices haven’t all been slothful. We have outfitted the basement with a treadmill and stationary bicycle. We were the recipients of a particularly favorable set of circumstances when the salesperson forgot to take off her heart monitor when we started negotiating price. We found that if we kept her near a machine that was in use, her heart rate would register on the display. Poor Carolyn (11) unfortunately, had the role of keeping the machine engaged in order that a measurement could be taken. (Some friendly advice, you‘ll get your best deal when the heart rate is up 20 points; after that, they just get mean.) So we got a good deal and Carolyn lost 5 pounds. Berns (the dog) is not too happy about the treadmill. He stands next to Robin while she works out and can’t figure out why he doesn’t have to move his legs to keep up. That said, he is happy to be walking at all after pulling every muscle in his back earlier in the year getting his teeth cleaned. Dave once had a friend in college blow out his knee getting up from his seat after taking an Economics exam; but pulling a back muscle getting your teeth cleaned has to move to the top of the “you-hurt-yourself-doing-what?” injuries. (Part of his treatment involved steroids, so Berns won’t be playing baseball this year, but is moving up the ranks of the doggie bodybuilding circuit and has no problem logging long hours sitting on our new bar stools. As Robin, who has taken to spoonerism recently, would say, “Stick that in your pope and smike it.”)
This year each of the kids “graduated”, Carolyn from elementary school and Dan from junior high. Dan’s new high school has an enrollment of 3000-4000 students and the building blue prints were apparently switched at construction with the design for a psychology experiment rat maze. After passing the band section MVP plaques for the third time trying to find his way out from parent’s orientation, Dave pledged never to enter the school again. Here’s hoping, several years from now, graduation day is sunny enough for an outdoor ceremony.
By far our biggest news relates to reality TV. Christopher Knight, the guy who played Peter Brady on the Brady Bunch, married Adrianne Curry, from nearby Joliet and winner of the first season of the reality show, America’s Next Top Model. They met on the reality show, The Surreal Life, and started dating. Their life together was then chronicled on My Fair Brady, another reality show. They got married in May, in Joliet. Our big news is that the wedding was broadcast on their show and we had the privilege of being married by the same Reverend that officiated their wedding. Okay, so we haven’t had our 15 minutes of fame yet; but we know someone who has used up a couple minutes of theirs. (Just thinking out loud here, but given there were only three or four TV stations when Andy Warhol made his “15 minutes” observation and now there are hundreds of stations, does this imply that we all get about 1 day of fame now, or are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton taking up all this additional fame space?)
All told, while it has not been an eventful year in our house, it has been an enjoyable one. Hope the same is true for you and your family. And as we head into 2007, let us all (to steal another of Robin’s spoonerisms) be needful of the minds of others.
Mele Kalikimaka
Dave, Robin, Dan & Cary
posted by Robin at 1:29 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home